Book Review

My last book review for the year - Here's to keeping New Year's Resolutions! I'm not sure if I'll keep these up in 2013 as I have some other goals for the year. Writing them really made me think about what I was reading, which was the whole point!

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Book Review: True Prep by Lisa Birnbach with Chip Kidd

Meant to be an updated version of the “The Official Preppy Handbook” which apparently was a publishing sensation in the 80’s, “True Prep” was published too late to be of use to me. I really could have used it starting in 2005. Still, it was like reading cliff notes of all I learned living in Hanover, NH for 4 years. There is also a fair amount of the non-parody writing that describes the culture in Philadelphia, especially at P.

It took me four years to understand and begin to appreciate the preppy. It really is more of an acquired taste. Really it wasn’t until I went to the preppiest business school of all time, Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, that I began to have my eye trained to really appreciate and understand the preppy.  Lisa’s take on preppiness- half mocking half serious – runs along two threads. Looking preppy and being preppy. While my eye will always be more urban than preppy, I was alarmed to learn my core might actually be more preppy then I was willing to admit.

Nina Garcia, fashion maven and judge of “Project Runway” wrote about her first exposure to girls wearing pink cardigans in MA in the introduction to one of her books. She said something like, “what is this…preppy.” It made me laugh, because that was my first reaction upon moving to NH. Nina Garcia is also South American (from Colombia) and many of her style sensibilities are familiar to me. I’ll never forget our first event for Dartmouth Medical School, it was late summer and I wore a denim skirt and platform red Miu Miu sandals (4 inch heels). Everybody else was wearing flip flops. Whatever these New England girls were doing did not come naturally to me.

Preppiness is not an urban phenomenon and I am at my core an urban Emily. Four inch Miu Miu sandals is more the vein of the Hong Kong girl than the preppy girl (Hong Kong is hands down one of my favorite cities). According to Lisa, preppiness is a sensibility born of the country. You can infer from Lisa’s book that preppys don’t really like the city. Mostly it is a place to work from Monday through Thursday (Lisa uses the word “work” loosely) then head to their vacation homes and clubs on the weekend and most of the summer. There’s a lot more mud and less pavement in the country, hence the need for more sensible footwear. In Lisa’s definition, true preppiness is synonymous with sporty.

However, looking beyond the sportswear, pearls and cardigans and there are quite a few of Lisa’s preppy cores I can check off. Private school education K-12: Check. Love of travel (no Vegas): Check.  Book Club Member: Check. Shelves and shelves of books in the house: Check. Willingness to engage in sports like golf: Check. Wearing my mom’s vintage and mending them when necessary: Check. Love of Stationary: Check. Playing an instrument, swimming, speaking a second language, Check Check Check. Extreme Frugality: Double Check Plus Plus. Amusingly, according to her definitions, I am more preppy than my husband (I’m a financial analyst, a very preppy career choice, Birnbach doesn’t think physicians qualify for the moniker.)

In the end, a tongue in cheek read, though this city girl could have used it in 2005. Though I’ll never be one of the girls who can wear a tie as a belt and pull it off still, it was amusing to read and at least help put the forces I was exposed to for that time into an amusing and proper perspective. The reading list she lays out alone was worth a perusal, but really I’m glad this book was a borrow and not a purchase.

Book Review

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

A co-worker of mine recommended Shawn Achor’s TED talk which is based on research done in the field of positive psychology.

Basically the idea behind positive psychology is to give relatively healthy, normal people the tools to live ever more productive and satisfying lives.  I was intrigued enough by this TED talk and after speaking with some of the people at the center (There are quite a few perks to working at Penn if you like boring books and things like I do; Penn has a Masters in Positive Psychology program).  While doing research on how to manage my transition to part time work, I picked up Archor’s book.

The author knows his reader probably is not familiar with positive psychology and so he spends the first 40 pages describing the scientific rigor behind the field. It’s as if he wrote, “Positive psychology is very very very very serious… HARVARD… very very very very … HARVARD very very very  very serious…” for 40 pages straight. It’s by page 41 that he starts to give you the meat of his conclusions.

The biggest take away from the book is that “we become more successful when we are happier and more positive”. Being positive and happier begets positivity, not only in your personal life but at work too (there is a very heavy corporate slant to the book). Richard Branson has said that “more than any other element, fun is the secret of Virgin’s success.”Achor quotes some studies that show “once people mimic the physical behavior ties to these emotions (i.e. happiness), it causes them to feel the emotion themselves. “ In short, “the more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will.”

So what’s the detail behind “believing in your own ability to succeed”? It boils down to pursuing meaningful life goals, scanning the world for opportunities and cultivating an optimistic and grateful mindset and holding on to rich social relationships.

Achor recommends a number of things to help facilitate the above. Things like meditate, find something to look forward to, Commit Conscious Acts of Kindness (Pick one day a week and make a point of committing five acts of kindness), infuse positivity into your surroundings (in one study spending 20 minutes outside in good weather had a number of effects that included improved working memory) as well as exercise (the study he quotes had participates exercise for 45 minutes 3 times a week.)

The last two he mentions I found most intriguing. The first was “spend money (but not on stuff)”i.e. to choose to have more positive experiences, like travel and less “stuff” like throw pillows. The second was to “exercise signature strengths”. Archor advises the reader to identify their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week. Thanks to the very very very very serious research done by the positive psychology field there are tools that can help you identify your strengths. (My test came back for, in the following order: Love of Learning, Leadership, Beauty of Excellence (super high performance standards), Fairness (which was interesting because it was also a strength identified during a corporate retreat two years ago) and Humility).

Archor also writes that the “greatest predictor of success and happiness…. is their social support network.” Positive interactions with other people are key and he even calculates a 2.9013 ratio of positive to negative interactions to make a corporate team successful.  He writes how “Chip Conley, CEO of a wildly successful chain of boutique hotels, makes time at the end of his executive meetings to allow one person to talk for one minute about someone in the company who deserves recognition.”

In reading this book, there are times when Archor points out the obvious.  I had to roll my eyes when he describes happiness as, “The ten most common positive emotions are joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love,” he writes. (I tried to practice positivity reading this and settled on being happy for the author that his thesaurus was working.) Also he describes his personal attempts at initiating more guitar practice and realizes when his guitar is placed in the middle of the room he practices more. He describes this as putting the “desired behavior on the path of least resistance.” Really anyone who’s read a woman’s magazine telling them to put fruits at eye level in the fridge is on to this particular piece of wisdom. 

In the eyebrow raising category, he describes “One sweeping study of 7,400 employees found that those who felt they had little control over deadlines imposed by other people had a 50% higher risk of coronary heart disease than their counterparts.” Considering that women are less likely to be able to negotiate resources to effectively do their jobs and considering that there has been an increase in women’s cardiovascular disease in recent years this was particularly interesting. Sadly connecting these dots are outside Archor’s field of expertise; but it definitely makes the case for not sweating things at work.

In general an interesting, timely and easy enough read, though may not be robust enough to be a complete personal philosophy (I don’t know how well these would hold up in the face of true adversity).

Still, I found the following graphic which sums up some of these points nicely and I’m always grateful for an excuse to go to yoga.

Holidays 2012

Christmas is Over? Oh No!




Book Review

The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch

Matt and I were at the library when I happened to see the bright yellow cover of this book and the tag line “A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome and One Man’s Quest to be a Better Husband”. I opened to a random page and was hooked, so it cut the reading list line when really it had no right to do so.

David Finch’s marriage was on the rocks when his wife finally figured out what was wrong with him: he has Asperger Syndrome. He decides to uses his Asperger powers for good not evil and begins a self-improvement quest to save his marriage.

Reading his memoir I was transported back to high school English class and the analysis framework of every hero which includes a tragic flaw, an excessive virtue, and a fatal mistake. What a simpler time did everyone live in before general public access to the DSM-IV! The worst you could do was be arrogant or accidentally sleep with your mom or something.

Now that we are all so terribly self-aware there is SO MUCH MORE trouble we can get ourselves into and our hero David Finch goes barreling head first into that recursive spiraling death trap of self-improvement. Still the high school English framework still holds so I’ll give it a go: David’s excessive virtue is that he knows he’s not perfect and flawed and so tries to improve, but in the process of improving indulges some of his very worst personality traits. His tragic flaw is that deep down he’s a jerk. His fatal mistake is completely underestimating the amount of time and effort that is involved in housework.

While the excessive self-improvement is the heart of the book, it’s those last two that gives the book legs. After all being a better husband for him is about being less of a jerk and helping more with the housework. (The cruelest thing he told his wife took my breath away.) He readily admits that he expects his wife to be a better homemaker and compares her regularly to their Martha Stewart-esque neighbor next door.

The thing is his wife has a job outside the home – one that provides benefits no less- and so baring her mastering space and time she can only be in one place at one time doing one thing and so what does he really hope to accomplish texting her at work in the middle of a meeting that the neighbor made homemade salsa? The neighbor is a stay-at home mom who apparently runs a daycare out of her basement – it is within her time resources to make homemade salsa. The only thing rubbing it into his wife’s face was going to accomplish was to piss her off.

Which, due to his self-improvement efforts, he realizes. So off to the kitchen he goes to get the kids ready for morning drop-off. Except he can’t and ends up getting to work regularly at 11:30. This in turn starts getting him in trouble at work. (There are no more texts about homemade salsa after that point in the book.)

David’s self-improvement quest comes to a halt when his wife tells him to knock it off. It’s too bad cause things were really getting interesting and it might make for a more interesting book, but it was probably a good time to stop marriage-wise.  I ended up liking both David and his wife by the end of the book. It was an easy and entertaining enough read with just the right amount of feel-goodness, (though not enough meat to subscribe to his on-going blog on the matter).

Into December... and 2013

It's been a while since I cleaned up my Iphone and notes...

First off some new online blogs: a friend's sister's husband is at the south pole doing research (physics) and is blogging about it. He has a way with explaining science - I'm looking forward to the posts. Also a former classmate who is extremely eloquent on political matters also started a blog. 

They both promise to be good reads and I am excited about them!

Meanwhile, I purchased my last new cookbook for the year, "The Four Hour Chef." (Review coming.) According to that book, I am at the point where I should be a sous chef in a high end establishment for a month to kick things up a notch. I don't know about that, but I can see their general point about time and timing how long it takes to do things being something to master. So I started off keeping time on things with prepping two medium butternut squash for soup in 10:06 minutes. 

We'll see how far down the rabbit hole I can take this in 2013.

Meanwhile we (Ger) made pancakes one Sunday. It's always nice to have lazy Sunday with no thought of rushing off somewhere or being concerned about time at all (nice but rare) .

Meanwhile since my last picture post I made 2 turkey dinners, but they went like hot cakes so no pictures!

I did try to make Kale Chips -  Not my best experiment. Best use of leftover Kale is still soup, I think.

Matthew and a Christmas craft, a string of gingerbread  people for his room.

Some of the food our office collected for a local food shelter.  I was glad to take the picture.

Women and Water and The Power of Technology

Women at the Well, taken by Emily Finan Carroll, Rajasthan, India, 2005

 

The photo above was taken in India in 2005, during our month long tour of Rajasthan. These women carrying water to their house still haunt me, for a number of reasons.

Yay for U Penn students bringing attention that access to water, especially in the developing world, IS a women’s issue. (You don’t see guys in the picture above now do you?) The newly launched Journal of Gender and Water promises to focus attention on the fact that women’s issues and access to water are closely linked. I say BRAVO! IT IS ABOUT TIME.

Meanwhile, Yay for technology finally addressing this issue. A short-term solution to be sure, but A START.

I think sometimes as women, we think our power is in taking and accepting and making the best of a situation. However, there is an appropriate place for asking for design changes, for asking technology to make our lives easier. Any of the women in the above picture is completely justified in asking for a more efficient water transport method. Asking for technology design changes that makes our life easier is not  a sign of weakness!

That this banner is being taken up makes me happy. Just wanted to share.